Country Music - Why Not??

Hope everyone enjoyed their V-Day, even though it was the first post-less day in a bit for the Drunk Polar Bear. Before we dive into the exciting topic of a country music I am proud to announce a Drunk Polar Bear first!:

Road-blogging! (no its not a dirty sexual act all you perverts). I am going to be spending the weekend in Philly with Tuna Titan, Trackpants & Trackpants’ lovely girlfriend Darling Doctor. As long as Trackpants allows me to commandeer his laptop for a bit on Saturday and Sunday I guarantee some very interesting, alcohol-fueled stories.

OK – so after about a week of thinking about it, its finally here. My first of many country music posts which an unexpected stream of good posts held up. Again I know what you are thinking:

“DP, what are your really going to tell us about country music?”
Probably nothing new, and I will have no new theories, acronyms of geometric curves. Just some straight shooting of opinions. However, I had the honor of speaking with Trackpants this afternoon and he told me to keep the posts a little shorter so I am going to give that a try.

“What kind of music do you like?”
“Everything but country music”

Why does everyone have to hate on country music? Country music is great. Like really great. I think everyone should understand it’s my favorite type of music. It tells actually stories that can be comical, upbeat, reflective or downright depressing. It is music with a message. I’ll share some favorites at the end of the post.

Country music isn’t the twangy, hillbilly, square dancing music anymore. It is mainstream, has a new modern spin, and is picking up momentum. Its’ women are beautiful (Faith Hill, Carrie Underwood, Kellie Pickler, Taylor Swift, Miranda Lambert, Danielle Peck…the list goes on) and the men are badass or laid back (Dierks Bentley, Gary Allan, Kenny Chesney, Toby Keith). They incorporate electric guitars or intimate solos. Their music videos are always fun to watch. It is a music that spans across genres.

And country concerts…OH MY GOD. I have been to country music concerts in Pennsylvania (NEPA & Philly), NY, NJ, and Iowa. Country music concerts are, in my opinion, an assembly of what is most perfect and god-given in the universe:

All-day tailgating
Good old American beer and food
Great Music
Nice, courteous drunk people

And…the most wonderful thing in the world – young women geared out in the country getup. Brown boots, short short short denim skirt, halter top/tiny t-shirt and a straw hat. Bud Light in their hand, smile on their face, and a bit of an southern accent in their voice. Perfection at its highest. It’s like God molded the perfect woman, and told her country music is the path to salvation. I agree God. Big props to you for sending this lovely class of women down to us. I am sure these women could bring about world peace if they really wanted to. No one every turns them down. I am surprised the UN hasn’t started recruiting these young ladies.

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And a special treat…a look into some great country songs…

Classics
Any Johnny Cash Song – but does any one song stick out more than “Folsom Prison Blues”. It was recorded in goddam Folsom and you can hear the inmates cheer as Cash gets them stirred up.

The very famous George Straight song “All My Exes Live in Texas” is fantastic because he hangs his hat in Tennessee…

Kenny Chesney’s (who I have seen 3 times) great midwestern sex song – “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy” – I don’t have to say anymore about that.

Brooke & Dunn’s “Believe” If that song doesn’t touch your soul even a little bit, you aren’t human at all…

Angry Women Category
Miranda Lambert’s multiple angry girl/explosion songs – “Kerosene” (she burns a guys house down for cheating on her) & “Gunpowder & Lead” (Arson wasn’t enough, now she is turning to explosions and bullets)

Although it went ultra-pop, Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats” is a very clear warning to men not to cheat on girls who own Louisville sluggers, especially if you own a Red Pickup truck. On her new CD, Underwood matches this song with a new one – “My Last Name” which basically recaps a night in which she got hammered, met a guy and got married in Vegas and of course doesn’t know her new last name.

Gretchen Wilson just has too many songs in this category to name, but she is pretty badass.

Personal Fav’s/New Classics
Miranda Lambert, Chesney, & Underwood make this category easily, but why not add some more.

Anything by Sugarland – even before they became Sugarland and it was just the lead singer, Jennifer Nettles. She is the most amazing vocalist, songwriter, female musician I have seen in my lifetime hands down. They are just unstoppable.

Dierks Bentley became famous with “What Was I Thinking” – the instant classic tune of what a hot girl in a tight white tank top can make a man do. This is also a personal favorite to sing karaoke too. Trackpants can vouch for this because we have rocked it out on several occasions to this song. If you have the chace also check out “Long Trip Alone”, “Trying to Stop Your Leaving” & “Settle for a Slowdown” – absolutely fantastic.

Anything by Gary Allan – despite not fitting the country mold he writes some great songs. (He is from Bakersfield California, has at least 10 tattoos and has had mounds of troubles in his life)

Brr…..Beer