Being a responsible one on this Saturday morning I got up early and went to the gym. This was more the result of my roommate going early and just catching a ride so I wouldn’t have to trek the mile to the gym in the snow. On the way home I stopped for bagels at my favorite deli. I am online behind this adorable little blond woman. She places her order:
“Could I get a sausage, egg and cheese on an everything bagel?” [in a bit of a southern, timid drawl]
Immediately I am in love because not only is that my de facto breakfast sandwich, but here is this little girl ordering a hearty breakfast. My hopes were immediately crushed when she continued her order:
“And a whole wheat bagel, scooped out, with low-fat vegetable cream cheese.”
Dammmmmnn. So the first order was for her boyfriend and the second order for her. Oh well. At least I will be getting some good bagels for breakfast. I get back in the car, talk to Tuna Titan and he brings up a good point. Why do women always order food that seems like it tastes like cardboard, while men really don’t care that much? Let me elaborate.
The southern bagel hottie essentially ordered a little whole wheat bagel with chemically altered vegetable-infused watery cream cheese. Although I am not a doctor, I have a pretty thorough background in the sciences and nutrition. Her order will only be moderately healthier than a regular bagel with cream cheese. Yet women (most, not all) continue to place orders like this is delis, dinners and fancy restaurants. Starbucks has even gone so far as to offer a skinny (diet) option to all of their fancy drinks. Why do they do this??? I really don’t know, but I guess it is like when guys who will be binging drinking all night drink Bud Light instead of Bud because it is healthier. It is really not healthier, but makes everyone feel better. Take a couple examples:
Deli Lunch
Guy: Ham & cheese with mayo, chips and a soda
Girl: Turkey, lettuce, honey mustard in a 7 grain pita with soy chips and a diet coke
Fast Food McDonalds
Guy: Big Mac value meal
Girl: Walnut & raisn salad with low-fat Italian dressing, yogurt and diet coke
Dinner (at an American/Pub restaurant)
Guy: Buffalo bites (appetizer), burger/sandwich, fries and a couple beers
Girls: Salad, some sort of low fat chicken breast or soup
NOTE: This is the case MOST of the time, not ALL of the time. There are always exceptions to the rule when guys order healthy. Even better is when a girl orders a full rack of ribs and a thick lager. However, most can agree this is the norm.
I don’t get why there is such disparity between the sexes. Men and women exercise about the same amount, and probably women exercise more as they get older. Men don’t burn that many more calories a day and aren’t generally fatter than women. It is a culinary anomaly that I have a brief theory about. Men eat burgers and all that crap, but generally eat normally/healthy when they aren’t out. I personally eat healthy 90% of the time when I am making my own food and stray when I go out, especially for Johnny Rockets. Women as a whole, seem to be much more self conscious about their body so they try and eat healthy all of the time. Trying to eat healthy 24/7 can’t be good for anyone mentally. It leads to binges of ice cream, chocolate, chips and martinis. I tried to give up alcohol for Lent last year and wound up going on a drunken parade the week Lent ended. The lesson from all of this – moderation. Have a bagel with normal cream cheese, just don’t have a burger every night.
Disclaimer: as a pretty dumb guy, I apologize to any and all women who think my assumptions are wrong. They can’t be that wrong though….
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