Boots, Boots, Boots

One post in and time to be a little scandalous. Boots. Not Timberlands, construction or ski boots. I am talking about heel-type boots, you know the sexy type women wear. Now I am not fashionable by any means. Even saying I have a modicum of style would be a stretch. Running shorts, Jeans, t-shirts, flip flops, a rollneck sweater, and two hoodies account for 95% of what's in my closet. However the recent "boot movement" has severely affected me. Let me elaborate.

I never had sisters, so I never understood women's fashion. The fact that the same dress can't be worn twice and that not all size 6's are the same and thus good jeans cost $250 still eludes me. Whenever it comes up at work, (where women outnumber me 2:1) I shake my head and accept that I probably spend too much on sports equipment and beer. However, its the shoes that get to me. Why do women need 50 pairs of shoes that cost $75 each. Do the math...carry the 4...divide by 9.2....take the exponential area under the curve...oh who cares....its a shit load of money that can be spent on a plasma TV.

Ok that was a huge digression. In sum I don't know anything about fashion, specifically women's fashion and their proclivity to buy expensive shoes. But this blog is about boots and oh, how glorious they are. I don't know if they are in style again or maybe I never saw boots before because women's shoe fashion in college consists of flip flops and 5 rotating pair of heels worn to what are dubbed "cocktail parties". But NYC is a mecca of for women with hot boots. There are all kinds - horse riding type riding boots, furry boots, patent leather, regular leather, up to the ankle, up to the calf, up to the knee (ohhhhh), you get the point.

Regardless, I very much appreciate this trend in women's fashion. It often is the cause of me walking directly into the back of other people on subway platforms, buses, side walks and the hallways at work. And I am not alone in this hazardous habit. On several occasions I have caught other men almost starting a domino effect on the morning commute. I fear one day it will causes a tragedy on the 7-train escalator which is something like 3 stories long. My question to the women of the boot world is why can't we wear this boots more often?

Granted men might stare a little more inappropriately when boots are present, but wearing them is a very altruistic action. Everyone is happier. In them women look great, their legs are accentuated and sometimes they make a cool clicking sound when you walk. Very sexy and men are happy. The apex of this happiness comes at a magical 2-3 week window. I have learned (through an involuntary 15 minute lecture) that fall/winter and basically any cold weather calls for boots because they are too hot to wear when its warm. This magical window occurs when winter is coming to an end, and its getting warmer. Its still cold enough to wear boots, but warm enough to drop the heavy sweaters, and long dresses. In part, its a perfect storm - skirts, tops and boots - basically perfection.

I was at a loss to nickname this 2-3 weeks. I tend to want to give everything a nickname. At first I thought of Whore-Bootuary (an obvious take on on the month of February). I imagine this name may not go over with some women. Then I thought of Boots Bonanza, but that sounds like a cheesy sale at a mattress store. Instead I turn to alliteration and Dr. Seuss influence naming this 2-3 week boot frenzy as:

Watchfully wild weeks of women walking in wonderment...

I don't have a snazzy Polar Bear Goodbye yet so..drink up!




****Those who did the math on the women's shoes - they average around $3,750 on shoes. This information is taken from the very reliable statistical research of my estimation.

Oh I forgot in the other two blogs - your comments (yes all 4 of my readers!) are appreciated. I don't yet know how it works, but its probably real easy.