Your Local Bar

Day 3 and still going strong on the blogging side of things. Additionally, I have finally sobered up which makes for a better night. Speaking of sobering up – I blame bars for most of my drinking habits. I am pretty sure I could be paying rent at some of the bars in Hoboken because I am there so much which gets down to the idea behind this blog. Bars. You love them and get to meet all sorts of degenerates in them – in some cases it me as the degenerate. In many cases you go there for amusement in the form of Bingo Wednesdays or two for one margaritas on Mondays.

Regardless, I think everyone should find one bar and become a regular at said bar. Because I am ultra-lazy I am going to give you 5 reasons why you should become a regular in a local bar. Keep in mind you have to find one bar and can’t bounce around between a couple. I am strictly monogamous when it comes to having a local bar and you should to. Ok…drum roll please…

1. Who doesn’t like going to a place where you know every nook and cranny. And no I am not talking about English Muffins although they are fantastic. Think they call them English muffins in England? Ok back to the point. Knowing where the bathrooms are, as well as how a pool table rolls are awesome…you can hustle visitors in pool and know where to “break the sale”

2. Never having to be carded by the bouncer which eventual grows into the type of relationship in which a bartender takes your side in a barfight – unless you spear tackle someone in a crowd. The spear tackle automatically pegs you as a guilty party, but its worth it.

3. Having one bar allows you to try many different drinks and thus making you classy. And by this I mean you have memorized the specials each night allowing you to know when you can binge of the flavored vodka night or go fucking buckwild for SoCo and Lime shots night

4. You are running late and are rushing to the bar to get to the game. The waitress catches you as you sit down and the first pitch is thrown. She asks if you want “the regular”. You just nod. And ordering the regular makes you a badass like Steve McQueen and others around you think you are either a celebrity or a drunk. Either way they are in awe and you could walk over to their table, eat their burger, slam their beer, and take their hot girlfriend and they would say “Thank you sir”.

5. The Holy Grail – knowing the hot bartender. You walk into the bar and the hot bartender, who is surprisingly human after you speak to her on frequent occasions. No she is not a fembot and she talks to you every time you go in. Fucking amazing. This “relationship” hopefully evolves to the pinnacle of you thinking you are cool – you get free drinks. They start as a free beer every now and then, but quickly evolve into you running up a booze tab only to get charged $25 and then leave a largely unproportional tip of $40, mostly because you drank 10 pints of Guinness, 2 burgers and bought shots for the entire bar…You are now in the know and will try and use this fact to pick up all sorts of women
And also – everyone wants a bar like Cheers, where everyone knows your name…
Brrr…Beer.