Country Music & Atlantic City

This one is going to be fun. Like lots of fun to tell. Last minute trip to AC came up and it was f’ing fantastic. Now although I didn’t text myself at regular intervals like I did for St. Patrick’s day I have clear recollection of my entire night. Without further ado…

Background: So my good buddy Trackpants called me at the beginning of last week with tickets to Gary Allan at the Hard Rock down in Atlantic City. Now Gary Allan is one of the most badass country musicians ever. He is from legendary Bakersfield, California and easily has over 10 tattoos all of which are awesome. After all the traveling over the past week or so I was really reluctant to go down and stay in yet another hotel and probably blow some more cash in a casino. Luckily those reservations lasted all of just one day.

3:00PM: Leave work and lots of emails and phone calls with hopes of country music and lots of booze

3:33PM: Get on NJT train to Trenton

5:40PM: Arrive 35 minutes late in Trenton and miss my connection to Philly, making me really late

5:54PM: Get on a SEPTA train for Philly with arguable the angriest commuters in the world. Apparently every train was late or running way behind. There was lots of cursing and such. I found it amusing as I typed away a memo on my laptop.

6:35PM: Finally get into the Philly train only to find Trackpants and PT (another new character is the story) are running way behind because Trackpants forgot he was driving a rental car and had to swap his out at the airport – what a Goddamn moron.

7:10PM: Finally get picked up and make the trek to AC

8:30PM: 2 trains, one traffic-filled drive and 5 and a half hours later and I am finally in AC. Too bad the concert starts at 9PM so that really didn’t leave much time for pre-gaming or so I thought. The three of us check in and speed-drink 3-4 Knight’s Head Light beers in 25 minutes. Good thing I can still pound them back and this beer is horrible.

9:20PM: Finally get to the concert to find the opening act, Jypsy, is 4 girls who play violins, sing and all other musically stuff while wearing really tight, colorful, short gym clothes. Their music is ok, but their outfits are better.

10:00PM – midnightish: The concert was unbelievable. Beer was tough to get at first, but great concert and get this – they filmed a music video for his new single at the concert which makes it that much cooler. Maybe I will get credited in the music video for rocking out – probably not.
Some time around midnight: I got separated from Trackpants & PT and got stuck behind two women on a really long escalator. So there I am riding along and Trackpants & PT are making such faces at me on the ground that these two women have to ask me who the two jackasses are waving at me. Needless to say one girl is very hot, while the other looks like a tranny. It was quite an amusing encounter and we later had sandwiches with them.

Midnight – 2:30AM: Texas Hold Em against the dealer at the Wild Wild West Casino for a while. Easily the most depressing casino in the world. They play old country music which is slightly amusing, but the clientele is utterly demoralizing. These people are on their last dime and gambling it all away. I proceed to break even, yet grow very angry because the drinks they are serving are watered down and tiny. I get up from the table to go visit Trackpants who is playing at a $25 Blackjack table. While standing next to him, he proceeds to go 11/14 racking up somewhere in the neighborhood of $500 in winnings while playing a lot of money on each hand.

2:30AM- 4:00AM: I am kind of drunk, but Trackpants is up $500 and PT netted $200+ on the craps table so we go to the bar to celebrate. I wasn’t that drunk, but the bartender flagged me anyway because I stuttered a little bit – oops. I think she just didn’t like me because I was having a good time.

4:00AM – 9:00AM I think?: Trackpants & PT finally decide to listen to me for once, and this just happened to be when I was having an inclination to play poker. So we go to Bally’s and hit up the no limit Texas Hold’Em tables. Now I play a fair amount of poker and can safely say I am little better than average, but keep in mind we have been drinking and I have been up almost 24 hours. So about the first two hours I am killing this table, taking pots while bluffing and go from $100 to somewhere in the neighborhood of $300-$400. I am smiling and pounding Red Bull and vodkas and quite a rate. Now I feel I must describe the table crowd so you can get an accurate picture. It is early Sunday morning in AC at a no limit poker table and all the players are guys in their 20’s. One guy is reading a book, others have headphones, one guy was drunker than I, and two guys were just huge jackasses. One guy, sitting to my left was f’ing awesome because he told me jokes and laughed every time I won a hand. Ok – back to the story, so its now about 6:40AM and I am thoroughly drunk and bleeding money by the $5 chip. I am so drunk that I am thanking the guys at the table for letting me play with them. The rest is a little hazy, but I busted out. I have now been up a long time and am exhausted. PT went back to the hotel and it took me two hours to get Trackpants up off the table so we could head back to the hotel.

9:30AM: Trackpants and I stumble into the hotel laughing and drunk as families are checking out. Check out time was noon, so we can get a couple hours of sleep before checking out. I walk into the hotel and faceplant onto my bed – I have been up 27 hours and probably have a Blood-Bull Level of 0.08

2:30PM: We all wake up way way way past the checkout time. We rush to get our shit together before we get charged another night. I am massively hungover

4:30PM: I get back to the Philly train station less than 24 hours from my last visit. I contemplate taking the SEPTA/NJT train back home, but decide to fork over the extra $23 and take Amtrak. I feel like a sheik traveling through Dubai with the comfortable seats on Amtrak.

7:10PM: After a transfer over in Newark and a PATH train ride, I finally make it back home, down $312, still somewhat drunk, probably with a heart-murmur from caffeine and not regretting any minute of my trip.
Brrr….Beer